Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Newborn Lessons: Marriage & a Newborn

It's 3am and baby girl is crying, not even crying but screeching at the top of her lungs. We've changed her, fed her and swaddled her. We've both rocked her, we've tried gas drops and gripe water. 

You can't take it out on the baby because well, she's a baby. Someone is going to get the brunt of the frustration and there's one person who's always right there next to you, your husband (or wife).

This will put even the best marriage to the test.

These newborn lessons are going to be very candid posts. Having a newborn is hard and navigating being a first time parent, a wife and the 100 other things we all are is even harder.

Marriages are tested by the challenges of being a parent. We've both learned lot about marriage, each other and ourselves. 

Patience is at the top of the list. It's actually a lesson we've had to learn over and over again. It seems like it will be one we continue to learn for years. We're not exactly on equal footing when it comes to patience but that's a lesson in and of itself.

Forgiveness is another important lesson that we've learned. For me, the little spats when we're tired at 3am don't mean anything and I make it a point that we don't hold on to them. 

One of things that has been pleasantly surprising is that we're learning a lot of fun and exciting things about each other. Watching my husband become a father and a true leader of our family has shown me a whole new side of him. 

He's encouraging, interested in what's going on and proactive. He changes diapers (probably has changed more than me), heats up breast milk and deals with the poopy laundry.

Second only to sleep, outside forces really test a marriage once you become parents. You have both of your families involved and giving advice. Money takes on a new life and work is a difficult topic. We're battling all of these and again, add in an intense lack of sleep. The tiniest frustrations and decisions can become mountains.

At our wedding, my aunt read a poem about marriage and the second line reads, "It offers opportunities for sharing and growth that no other relationship can equal." That's never been more true than it is now that we've started our family.

It's not easy, not at all but I think our marriage is more important now than it ever has been.

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